Parting thoughts

I'm sitting once again on the back deck at my parents' house, enjoying my last coffee and internet morning of the summer. Tomorrow morning I hop in the car and drive to Fredonia to begin my studies there. It's hard to believe I'm making the final push for my bachelors degree at long last. I spent so long wondering what to do with my life, and second-guessing my plans and desires, but I've finally stopped it (mostly) and I'm going for it. If it doesn't work out for some reason, at least I'll have a degree.

I feel like this is the end of something, and it is. There's a certain finality to it, but it's not because I'm moving away even close to permanently, but because of what it represents. It's a dividing line between an old way and the new way, the old Ryan and the new Ryan.

It's not the last day that I'm here, but it's the last day that I'm here. (if that makes a lick of sense...)

Tomorrow I leave here a semi-lazy occasionally responsible, disorganized bachelor with alcoholic tendencies, and return in two years a well-trained musician and teacher.

Now that's a metamorphosis.

With this departure for school comes a good deal of apprehension. I have an incredible amount of work ahead of me, and I'll be involved with an endeavour the like of which I've never attempted before. I don't doubt that I'm up to the challenge, but I admit that the challenge is very intimidating. I really don't have a full awareness of what I'm in for, but I'll find out soon enough.