Things should be back to normal, but alas, they're not. Now that Julia and Matt's wedding is past (and a great weekend, I must say again!) I'd expect that life would be calming down and getting back into the pre-wedding routine. But my whole summer has been a change of pace, and the last month of it has been wrapped up in the wedding via Heidi. Now that there's no wedding to prepare for, it's easy to find yourself at loose ends. And it's also a time of transition for several people I know.
Speaking for myself, the wedding weekend was the demarcation line as far as leaving for school is concerned. I basically ignored the move as I've increasingly decided that I don't want to live two hours away, and this past weekend was the line I drew where the reality of having to move would hit me. And so it's been tough for me to go back to pre-wedding times, as I have this departure looming over my head. I've been having anxiety issues this week, and there are alot of concerns on my mind. Leaving for Fred feels like it could have a big effect on a few important things, although that's probably not even the case... it's likely the worry/anxiety thinking there.
It's just been a weird week... lots to adjust to in several directions. I hope stuff settles down a little before I go, as I'd hate to be this keyed-up when I head off to school. I'm making some calls to address my recurring anxiety disorder before I ship out. It could make school much more difficult than it needs to be, if not torpedo the whole thing. And I'm not letting anything get in the way of my degree this time... I've got a life to live and I want my degree done (and done well!) so that I'm out of there in 2 to 2 1/2 years. I'm 31 and it's goddamn well time that I get past this college stuff, get my degree and teaching certification, and get on with doing things that I'd imagined myself doing in my 30's.
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