Feeling discouraged

First, I did very poorly on one of my conducting excerpts, and then my studio teacher seemed to imply that I should think about whether I have what it takes to major in music. Not that it's a bad thought, since I've been wondering it myself for awhile now. I can't seem to truly convince myself that I do have what it takes. I don't feel that I fit in well here, or that I even have the necessary skills to hack it through even a BA degree in music. Sometimes swimming against the current is just too much work. I'll be thinking long and hard this spring about if I really am comfortable pursuing music. So I may wind up back in Rochester in the fall after all. It would be too bad that I had to add another several thousand dollars in debt to find this out, but the only real way to tell whether or not I can hack it in music is to throw myself into the meat grinder of music school, I guess.

Another option is to actually pursue the music business degree after all, and screw the whole idea of lessons and studio. I'm not sure what sort of job I could get with that degree, but at least I'd have several good business courses under my belt... those have to be handy for something.

I don't know. I'm probably in a mood today... I do get like this in winter. Guess it's going around.