Dealing with annual winter doldrums

My thanks to Heidi & Julia who wrote me nice comments on Seasonal Affective Disorder, which I suspect I might be afflicted with, but can't afford to be diagnosed with. Boo that. The last few days have been kinder to me, but I still find myself overly sensitive, inexplicably worried, short-tempered, letharigic, and in general not up to par mood-wise. My ability to get anything done is still pretty scant, and anyone who tries to load on extra work for me (i.e. the band) tends to get the shit-end of the stick. Historically in these times, I tend to become introverted & spend my time with a few close friends, pushing others away. This time I've been hanging around Tatiana when I can, and occasionally Ben, but mostly I keep to myself or go to my parents' house. Tatiana's been busy alot lately, and her family obligations have kept us from getting much time together, which further irritates me, unfortunately. Not that I have any good reason to be irritated, it's just my short-fuse going off because I can't see her as much as I'd like.

Other than that, it's been mo' practice. MCC has winter break this week, and I've thus far been good about practicing the upright. I have less than two months to get two movements of a Vivaldi Sonata in shape for auditions, and slightly under 3 for recitals. And etudes for juries, and scales too. With all of this classical upright practice, I'm also trying to squeeze some jazz practice in there again too, and there's the piano practice as well. And the Jacoda guys actually expect me to sink more time into band practice & practicing my Jacoda bass parts. Right. After being in school for 7-8 hours a day, I still have homework, more practice, 1 or 2 work shifts a week, laundry, applying for colleges, trying to clean this pig-sty apartment, and trying to find as much time as possible to spend with Tatiana, not to mention some of my friends I never get to see anymore. And I'm expected to spend time on Jacoda material. And listen to Jacoda in the car whenever I go anywhere. As if I have no other musical pursuits, no other music to expose myself to. Like I'm going to listen to my goddamn band instead of orchestral music, instead of jazz, instead of stuff I want to learn more about. Right. I'll get right on that for ya. [/sarcasm]

The phone was turned off once again over the weekend, rendering me phone-less. I was isolated, having to brave single-digit temperatures, and bitter wind-chills just to make quick calls at a pay-phone across the street. Thankfully this has been rectified & I'm back to normal, telecommunications wise. And since I can get online, I can update the blog more. Huzzah!(?)

More to come in the days ahead...